ذكريات و كلوتات – The Transition From Girl to Woman Through the Aesthetics of Underwear
“Let’s start this with an apology to my mother. Sorry that I'm all over the internet in my underwear.”
Words by Alia Dessouki, photography by Mariam El-Gendy
Let’s start this with an apology to my mother. Sorry that I'm all over the internet in my underwear. When I stumbled upon this pair of underwear, I attempted to understand when my girlhood ended and my womanhood began. Pair after pair, I traced my coming of age through a series of moments and experiences. It’s important to understand that my growth as a woman in Cairo wasn’t marked by puberty or physical changes to my body. It was instead a series of struggles that taught me to adapt to my surroundings.
Being a woman in Cairo indicates that you most probably experienced having no autonomy over your body, or you were objectified for the way you dress or look. This series explores that being a woman is central to my identity. The point is not to sexualize the content but rather to enjoy the complexity of the journey.
This was a joyful way to explore parts of my memory that I thought were irrelevant to my growth, but which I have come to realise were central to my coming of age as an Egyptian woman. I asked myself questions that I had never really thought of before. When did my underwear become part of my womanhood? When did underwear stop becoming simply a piece of clothing and start becoming sexualised? When did my choice in underwear begin to intertwine with maturity?
I remember my mum buying me underwear that reflected the innocence she intended for me at a young age.
To be able to take control of my body image and gain confidence over it is something I have always struggled with. I never really understood how my body was objectified. Now, I can’t run from it.
So when did my girlhood end and my womanhood begin?
I remember the moment where I made the conscious decision to listen and learn more about my body – this sparked a path that I'm still on today. Being a woman is far too complex to explain because it’s subjective. However, for me, it was unlearning the structure and framework surrounding Arab women and exploring parts of myself that were not particularly appropriate within my environment.
The transition between girlhood and womanhood in the Arab household is not an easy one, which is why it’s important for me to be vocal through my creative work. ذكريات و كلوتات is my way of expressing that, so thank you to everyone who made this happen.
